brightloquacity

Okay, so I've been away for what? Over a month. I've missed you guys! 

So the past few months have been pretty epic, but I'm only going ~relay the good parts, because I'm nice like that.

Despite college going well, I decided that I couldn't be fucked with A Levels anymore, and so I transferred to a National Diploma in Photography and Digital Imaging. While the workload is IMMENSE, I've never been happier. Three days at college and a four-day weekend? Hell yes.

Also,

lonelyvoodoo and I are back together. But he's now on his way to the Isle of Wight again. Hate.

All in all, life is good. While me and my mum are constantly fighting, and I feel I can no longer stay in the house with her - which is soon to be sorted - I'm pretty happy. Carl (lonelyvoodoo ), myself and our friend Jem spend every evening walking around in the cold, eating Chinese, sitting on benches and smoking. Best. Pastime. Ever.

This week is half term, so I'm really fucking stoked. Thursday I should be going to London with a couple of friends, and the rest of it I will be playing Final Fantasy XI and the Sims, reading/writing and eating. Oh my life is win.
 

 

Seems to be pretty fucking awesome atm, tbh.

College is going well.
Everything seems to be going right.
I have more independence.
Parties.

Fuck. Yes.

</happy>

Is it selfish, stubborn and childish for a young woman to want to be able to make her own decisions in life? Being able to see a particular person, whom they care about from the bottom of their heart, isn't a crime, right? 

Then why do people feel that they can interfere and hinder that?

I always swore to myself, even if I relapsed, that I would never purposefully make myself bleed.

I broke a promise to myself.

Things I've been through have aided me with that. I hope this does, too.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

When love for someone becomes so irresolutely ineffable, it really fucks with you. It's almost as though a whole tumult of new emotions are able to be felt; as though emotion itself, before the aforementioned love is experienced, manifested itself as a mere shadow. Then it is experienced, and you're reborn, reborn into a new life, a new person. You become happier, feel worth something; life seems to come at you with a revived vigour that had long before lost it's vitality. But you also become a more volatile person. Any slight trigger - the sound of them crying, for instance - instigates an automatic empathetic catharsis.

You're so far away, and the sound of your crying makes me want to come and find you; walk if I had to.

I just want you with me.

Just over a  day left until you get back. I can't even begin to describe how hard it's been not to be able to touch you; to not be able to feel your skin on mine, or for your enrapturing scent not to permeate and ensnare my senses, to imbue my very existence.

I think I've had Emily on repeat for at least ten times.

Smiles and his laughter; it's the only thing that I've been waiting for, a time.
Regardless of our distance, and our hope, 'cause we're swept by pretty eyes and letters for a time.
The only thing that I've been waiting for.

Thunderstorms could never stop me. ♥

I officially have a favourite Suicide Girl. I just happened to be skulking around the website, and came across this beauty:


How is she so adorable? Her name is Radeo, she's 5'4" and loves horror movies. Oh em gee. ♥

I DON'T LIKE  BIG PENISES.

I'm declaring this, here and now, to my entire f-list.

I HATE THEM. 

Dear lonelyvoodoo 

I miss you so bad. Like, so badly that it hurts.

I really wish I'd gone the short distance, this morning, and opened the door to you. Or had even just twitched my bedroom curtain and looked out to see you. Because, I know that if I had done this wouldn't be so hard. Actually, it may have been harder. I just wish I had found out.

~*~

Anyway, you're totally wasted right now. And you're the cutest drunk caller. When you called just now I was pretty close to crying; hearing your adorable little voice made my throat close up, despite my laughter.

I now await more drunken calls, unless you've re-enacted last week and are now collapsed somewhere, in a pool of puke :)

I love you.

Love, brightloquacity 

xxxxxxxx

1. I cried at a love note from... well, my love.

2. I keep sniffing/hugging the kitten the aforementioned love gave me this morning.

lonelyvoodoo come home already, I miss you :'( you only left this morning but stfu.

okay now I fail.

I has it. And now I'm sure Carl has it.

*dies*

...except for Carl. But tomorrow can't come quick enough. It's been over a week.

S'gonna be amaze.

;)

For a brief continuation of my last post, read el Carlo's here: 

http://lonelyvoodoo.livejournal.com/2862.html

Oh, and another thing.



*CREAMS*

You have no idea how happy you make me; it's like I actually didn't exist before.

In other news, we got completely fucked last night. Like, not being able to walk drunk. I now feel sick and hurt. And we had a threesome.

Does anyone know if there are any loopholes in the law that allow you to kill your own mother?

Wise the fuck up and realise that I'm an adult.
Or just leave me the fuck alone.

You know you get those periods of insane happiness, where it feels like your life is perfect? Then, you fall ass-first into a pit of dejection and fuckoffery?

Sucks. Last week was amazing; spent all week with Carl, Lisa and Tasha, just having fun and being a teenager. Then you realise, the next week, that being a teenager is shit with it's dick head implications - relationships, hormones and things, you know how it works.

At the moment, I just feel shit in myself; I have no period, yet I'm in serious amounts of pain, which is seriously worrying me; I look like shit; my family seem to be constantly pissed off at me at the moment for just fucking living my life; and on top of that, Carl's constantly being ridiculed for things he hasn't done, which is probably the hardest for me. It makes you feel so shit to see your loved one in that kind of pain.

Looking up, though, I'm spending the day with Carl, babysitting his nephew :)

Peace out, I'm meant to be showering. Badtiemz.